Imperfect Catholic Mama

New Years came along, and there I sat, feeding my newborn son, scrolling instagram to stay awake. Every other post or so was about the adventures someone had in 2023, or the ones they were looking forward to in 2024.

I spent 2023 being a mother. I would be spending 2024 being a mother. I hadn’t done any international travel (visiting my family in Canada does not count). I hadn’t done any epic backpacking trips or outdoor adventures. I didn’t start, expand, or grow a business.

The end of December came and I had a baby.

And a few days later, amidst all the New Year posts, I was watching Pixar’s animated film ‘Up’ with my toddler, feeding my son, and I found the words I needed to express that my adventures looked different from what the world at large would define as adventures.

In ‘Up,’ a little girl, Ellie, makes an “adventure book” which she is going to fill with pictures of all the places she’ll go and adventures she’ll have. She meets and marries Carl, and they live a long and happy life together. But they never manage to travel. Sadly, Ellie dies, and on her death bed she hands Carl their adventure book. But Carl never looks at it.

Some time later, as Carl sits in his house parked by paradise falls (having flown it there with balloons to fulfill his and Ellies dream of visiting), he picks up their adventure book. The first couple pages are from Ellies childhood, expressing her dream to visit Paradise Falls.

Carl comes to a page titled “stuff I’m going to do.” He sighs, clearly saddened that he and Ellie did not have adventures, they didn’t do stuff. He goes to close the book, for he sees no reason to flip through empty pages.

But as he’s closing the book he notices a picture corner. He’s intrigued. He turns the page to see a wedding photo of him and Ellie. And, to his surprise, the book is filled with pictures of them.

He thought those pages were empty. But Ellie had filled them with the story of their life together. Their wedding day, picnics in the park, the jobs they worked beside each other all their life. She filled her adventure book with a different kind of adventure that Carl did not think of.

At the very end is a note from his wife:

Carl thought they hadn’t had any adventures, but his wife changed his perspective on that. Sure, they didn’t travel, but that didn’t negate the beautiful life they lived together and the adventures they did have, even if they weren’t what most people might see as adventures.

I’ve been called out before on saying “I’m just a mother,” for there is no ‘just’ to it. Yet every time someone asked what I’m doing after graduation or what I do now, and I answer “I’m a mom,” it feels like an insufficient answer.

But it’s not. Being a mom is enough. It is not the entirety of what defines me, but neither is that other mom’s day job.

My adventures of 2023 were not climbing or skiing mountains, they weren’t traveling to Europe, or building a business. They were having a family. To quote yet another movie:

Only, there is no maybe to it. My adventure IS having a family. My adventures of 2023 consist of my first baby becoming a toddler; going from a stationary baby, to crawling, toddling, walking, and running. Seeing her become her own little person bit by bit. It’s going for small 2 miles hike as a family and watching my daughter love the rocks and grass she passes. It was experiencing my body grow and change as a little life took form inside me. Feeling those first little movements become powerful punches to my ribs. My Adventure of 2023 was birthing my baby boy in the comfort and peace of my home two days before the New Year kicked off.

I imagine the world at large may not see these to be adventures. But I do. At the end of my life my “adventure book” may not be filled with pictures from international travels, exotic animals I was close to, or ethnic foods I tried, but it WILL be filled with smiling faces, growing babies, and a happy family.

Amidst the messy kitchen and piles of laundry, having a family is my adventure. Being a mama is what I do.